REFLECTION

OK so i have a dear friend in boise i was talking to the other day that i miss dearly and i told him once that i would never know what it feels like to be innocent, well i would like to retract that statement. I met a guy yesterday, didn't go with any alterior motives, NOTHING LIKE THAT, all i was going to do was sit watch a movie and go to bed on the couch. BUT Even though i did do that I didn't sleep alone, but no sex nothing sexual at all
sensuall and a lil passion in the cuddleing, but not in the psysical sense at all it was so amazing, but what i don't understand is the fact that after all i have been thru and after all the promises i have made to myself, why do I have to meet someone that make me put on my hard hat and break all those promises?
I mean he is not like anyone or thing that i have ever run into while being out on my own, and that is what i like about him, honest kind caring, emathink, well more sympathic but still he could read me like a book, and i have only had this happen once and it was right before i came up here, i wqas crying like a lil baby , but he held me and i felt so safe and wanted/ needed that i didn't want to leave, i just wanted time to stop and go right past, Yes i did get a kiss outa it, i think that is what made it feel so innocent, cause I had the power and controll for once, and it felt amazing, i mean , i have never felt like this, i am going to take it slow, i mean look what happend last time i hit the fast foreward button, yes i had a good relationship for the most part except for a few massive problems, but i want a friend first, and i know, my heart is telling me that if i do this, and cultivate my friend, not meaning to sound like farmer john but i will have the later as well. and even if i don't have that ever....I will always have last night in my heart as something i will never have again as long as i live. and no one can ever take that away from me. I hope to see him again. and again and again..... you get the idea
but on a more important note, a good friend of mine passed away last night, he was killed my drunk driver in SLC.

Rebirth

by: Robert Michael Shaw

I sit and look out at the window

wondering why ill have to go

everything does have a time

a song is herd and passes round

time goes by, and takes its toll

before to long its herd again, loved just as much

Though im not seen, my voice is herd

and a lesson was taught and learnd

I am with you not in sight, but in heart

and if you look real close youll see me

as you dream

well i have a better version of this poem in my boise home in mtn.home and i will re post when i get the chance but you get the hint....Zeb, my dear freind, this is for you and so many others who do not know or did not know what life is like without heartach, in other words this goes out to everyone. I love you all, and the reason i know this is cause i know who is reading this and its all my friends that i have made over time

and to my fav DJ~ Ill SPIN YA LATA"S as for the rest of you lovely's chia bello