Bowling....And saying the Wrong things
You know I have Finnaly realized that I am not so smooth when it comes to words. I was trying to ask a friend out on a Platonic type meeting and I said date, does anyone see the problem with this??
I mean graunted Yeah he is really cute and I have wanted to ask him out on one of those for a really long time, but I really don't know how that slipped out, I am in no position to be dateing anyone. I feel really bad too cause on top of me saying that...he is seeing someone soooooo yeahh I feel like last years thanksgiving turkey, sitting in the fridge talking to this years....
yeah not such a pretty picture is it?
Im going to take just a moment to dicuss my frustration, kinda like wallowing in self pitty only a lil bit angryr and alot more productive cause then I can sleep tonight and the few people that read this...can just brush it off and say oh well.....like normal....
I am single, true I am fucked up in so many ways that makes it not funny but you know what I am fuckin working on it, why can't I even snag a simple date I'm not asking for sex or love I'm just asking for someone to get to know, someone to just get to know, talk to, laugh with, and maybe when I'm not such a walking psyc ward maybe even fall in love with, someone to bring the scraps that make up this tatterd soul to, someone to bring something to, like the songs ive shouted to heavan or the secrets that I have kept in the box at in my room, the words that fill those peices of paper, the day dreams I have left on the shore of life, Because there would be magick in all that he did, he would complement me and complete me all at the same time, he would have the trust that I promised never to give out to anyone, and the key that fits no lock on any door.
as it is, I manage to get asked for sex most the time, which btw is degrading if yall ever heard some of the ways I have been asked, or treated for that matter, not that any of my freinds or gay family has ever done that cause they havn't but just other people who don't know me, that in itself is amazing I don't know how anyone could have sex on a first date not that I myself havn't done that cause I have, and i feel like shit after words.
I am sick of being the one that is told that he can have his pick of men.
I can't have the pick of men that I want, because the pick of men that I want doesn't exist, there isn't anyone out there that is willing to get to know me, willing to see my ugly side, willing to see my funny emotional side, willing to get to know my quirks there just isn't anyone out there and I am sick of thinking that there is, but I can't stop that thinking because the moment I do...I will never find anything and I will be single for the rest of my life..not the end result that I want.
anyway enuf of that moving right along.......................
I need to get off this thing ill talk to yall later
chaio bello
I mean graunted Yeah he is really cute and I have wanted to ask him out on one of those for a really long time, but I really don't know how that slipped out, I am in no position to be dateing anyone. I feel really bad too cause on top of me saying that...he is seeing someone soooooo yeahh I feel like last years thanksgiving turkey, sitting in the fridge talking to this years....
yeah not such a pretty picture is it?
Im going to take just a moment to dicuss my frustration, kinda like wallowing in self pitty only a lil bit angryr and alot more productive cause then I can sleep tonight and the few people that read this...can just brush it off and say oh well.....like normal....
I am single, true I am fucked up in so many ways that makes it not funny but you know what I am fuckin working on it, why can't I even snag a simple date I'm not asking for sex or love I'm just asking for someone to get to know, someone to just get to know, talk to, laugh with, and maybe when I'm not such a walking psyc ward maybe even fall in love with, someone to bring the scraps that make up this tatterd soul to, someone to bring something to, like the songs ive shouted to heavan or the secrets that I have kept in the box at in my room, the words that fill those peices of paper, the day dreams I have left on the shore of life, Because there would be magick in all that he did, he would complement me and complete me all at the same time, he would have the trust that I promised never to give out to anyone, and the key that fits no lock on any door.
as it is, I manage to get asked for sex most the time, which btw is degrading if yall ever heard some of the ways I have been asked, or treated for that matter, not that any of my freinds or gay family has ever done that cause they havn't but just other people who don't know me, that in itself is amazing I don't know how anyone could have sex on a first date not that I myself havn't done that cause I have, and i feel like shit after words.
I am sick of being the one that is told that he can have his pick of men.
I can't have the pick of men that I want, because the pick of men that I want doesn't exist, there isn't anyone out there that is willing to get to know me, willing to see my ugly side, willing to see my funny emotional side, willing to get to know my quirks there just isn't anyone out there and I am sick of thinking that there is, but I can't stop that thinking because the moment I do...I will never find anything and I will be single for the rest of my life..not the end result that I want.
anyway enuf of that moving right along.......................
I need to get off this thing ill talk to yall later
chaio bello
posted by Rob-b at 9:03 PM
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