Who Needs A Laugh?
Ok So I am Getting together My skits that I have worked up, Hopefully the new comedy club in town that is opening will have open Mic, nights to all ages. It sucks not being 21.
but anyway Here Picture this LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, HOMO STYLE!!!
It will be fabulos, I am going to Be lil red's twin brother, A homo of course, and Miss red herself is really a drag queen, who dated an older guy that was a real bad boi, and a hairy mo fo, and grandma is a pill popping alcoholic, and Our Mom is going to be a lezbian, and by the way grandma is a swinger and the woodsmen is otherwise known as A DIRTY OL MAN!!
kinda short but Im not going to type out the entire skit for someone to steal my style.
Next we have TWEAKER BELLE, OH my The THE DIRT this lil powder snorting Diva has on peter pan and the lost boi's, not to mention wendy and her brothers.
She even has a few lil stories about the pirates. hahahaha did you know captin hook was into body peircing?? Who knew, Kinda like jesus was into body peircing as well lol.
Then we have ALICE, OH SWEET PSYCOTIC ALICE, HOW WE LOVE YOU, I myself an going to be the cheshire cat, cause I mean Who better to tell the story about Alice then the Damm Instigator of the whole thing, Skrew the White Rabbit, I want some purple stripes, and A smile on my face not a case of parinoia, besides that It's more my personality as it is, but i think I am going to make this cat have a gambleing problem I mean after all there where a ton of cards in the movie and book lol.
Also we have Cinderella, my lord Everyone thinks that bitch was grown when she put that slipper on, I BEG TO DIFFER!!her feet where still growing when she put that Glass piece of shit on her foot, and get this, I heard a rumor that her and the step sisters all shared a girlfriend at one time without knowing what was going on, how Nieave can you get?
I don't know what it is But how did this Bitch manage to get a prince An older one at that, she must have lied about her age...lol
Then we have the Story Of beauty and the Beast, such a sweet story if I were to actually leave it alone but.....................FUCK THAT IDEA LETS TWIST THE SHIT OUTA IT, Picture it, Belle is a mushroom adict who see's household appliances come to life, and I don't know what it is about the Beast but don't he kinda look like A really well fed dog? don't you think that is a lil odd? I mean I can understand Loveing a Pet but someone has to draw the line, and then she is so hawkd up on shrooms that she thinks he turns into A good look piece of man meat, if you ask me I would have gone with the guy that liked her from the get go, BUT NOOOOOOOOO dont' listen to the HOMO UH UH.
SLEEPING BEAUTY!! NOW Who doesn't love a classic?
I tell you I don't know why that bitch sleeps so much, can anyone tell me this, maybe its from hanging out with the old ladies way to often, I mean how would you feel if you had to live with that?
and then you meet a great guy and come to find out your already spoken for, if it where up to mei say fuck it and go do what I wanted but thats just me. But the guy she ends up with isn't to bad in fact he has a stricking resemblence to the guy who she was foolin around with in the forest, god talk about a high sex drive, I mean YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEND IN THE MOVIE AFTER THEY WALKED OFF SCREEN!!
and melificent was just jelous cause she wanted to be a blonde and instead she got black horns that look like snake skin, god woman go get a wig, drag queens do it, shit most of there hair looks about the same as it is, take a hint!!
Then we have the Chance to laugh at myself and others without the cover,
Lets talk about drag time, for instance, its bad enuf that I take forever to get ready, we are talking about an hour in the morning, yeah I am high maintanince, but shit look at some of thiese queens they will spend at times up to four hours in front of a mirror, mind you thats half of a work day, Now take in mind that in that amount of time and the number of years some of these queens have done drag for, and to think most of them still do a shitty job!! Can anyone say YOUR FIERD?
Then Lets talk about Guy stereo Types for a minute, If I ask A guy what type of guy he is looking for, the normal response I get is ya know NORMALL, Oh I want someone that can make me smile and who is kinda BLAH BLAH BLAH Number one what they are really trying to say is I want someone who can roll me around in the sac and not make me get so fuckin bored that I have to go out and get it somplace else. Number two Most the Time they really arn't out for Long term why waist my time and just ask me right out front.. You wanna go Roll Around, its not playing, not in my eyes cause playing to me is, ya know video games something like that going to the park and having a nice game of foot ball that playing around, I don't get sex hair from foot ball, all I get from foot ball is a couple of brusies and maysome grass in my hair.
But Back to my point.. everyonce in a while I hear, I want A straight acting guy.
CAN ANYONE DEFINE THE STRAIGHT WAY OF GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS??
Please if you can show me in the dictionary, show me the page so I can have it stiched on a pillow!
Another Thing I don't Get about gay culture is Why do so many people catogorize themselves?
I mean yeah I use those stero types, but my god, punk, goth, preppy, cowboy's bull dyke, lipstick lezbian
why can't you just say that you are gay or lezbian and you dress how the fuck you want to?
as far as i am concernd preppie bois are bitchy most the time, goth and punks are dark natured and wild, which is good at times, and the lezbians live in there own lil world, but if you think about it we are all just plain people who Have a favorite store at the mall!!
Another thing I don't get is How long people are together in the gay communite, what I mean by that if a straight couple is together for 2 years no one thinks a hill of beans about it, but when a gay couple has been together for two years people throw a party if they happen to be of the homosexuall persuasion. I mean lets think about it in this day and age, everyone needs a pat on the back for staying together, because no matter what you are, there is still terms that fit people like SLUTY, Two Timeing, you name it.
I mean the gay communitee wants so much to be excepted but we discrimonate aginst straight people so much in everyday life while we seek out equality that I think thats the reason we don't get it. we step on there toes they have there feelings hurt and then they retaliate with not letting us go thru divorce court when we want to seperate. lol that right there should be enuf to make us have equality, just think of all the money a good divorce attorney could make if he played his cards right....AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME LOL.
I mean seriously don't you see what I am getting at, If we took the same amount of time leading on like just everyday people, not throwing our sexuality up in the faces of people whome we may not even know but expect them to respect us we won't get anyplace, RESPECT IS EARND not givin off the batt.
But the one thing I don't get out of all this is ORGY's
Why If you are in a solid realationship, Why In gods green earth would you want someone fucking your significant other?
If it was me I would get mad and my baby blues would turn green right then and there!
OH BOY that would make me feel so insecure, I mean if you think about it you are taking a risk of loosing your partner, espechially if the other person is hotter and better in bed you don't want your lover to know that ther is better things out there, you should break his legs chain him or her up in the bedroom and not let them out!!
anyway thankyou for reading this I am shure that you will be seeing me preform soon!!
peace out Love ya all
but anyway Here Picture this LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, HOMO STYLE!!!
It will be fabulos, I am going to Be lil red's twin brother, A homo of course, and Miss red herself is really a drag queen, who dated an older guy that was a real bad boi, and a hairy mo fo, and grandma is a pill popping alcoholic, and Our Mom is going to be a lezbian, and by the way grandma is a swinger and the woodsmen is otherwise known as A DIRTY OL MAN!!
kinda short but Im not going to type out the entire skit for someone to steal my style.
Next we have TWEAKER BELLE, OH my The THE DIRT this lil powder snorting Diva has on peter pan and the lost boi's, not to mention wendy and her brothers.
She even has a few lil stories about the pirates. hahahaha did you know captin hook was into body peircing?? Who knew, Kinda like jesus was into body peircing as well lol.
Then we have ALICE, OH SWEET PSYCOTIC ALICE, HOW WE LOVE YOU, I myself an going to be the cheshire cat, cause I mean Who better to tell the story about Alice then the Damm Instigator of the whole thing, Skrew the White Rabbit, I want some purple stripes, and A smile on my face not a case of parinoia, besides that It's more my personality as it is, but i think I am going to make this cat have a gambleing problem I mean after all there where a ton of cards in the movie and book lol.
Also we have Cinderella, my lord Everyone thinks that bitch was grown when she put that slipper on, I BEG TO DIFFER!!her feet where still growing when she put that Glass piece of shit on her foot, and get this, I heard a rumor that her and the step sisters all shared a girlfriend at one time without knowing what was going on, how Nieave can you get?
I don't know what it is But how did this Bitch manage to get a prince An older one at that, she must have lied about her age...lol
Then we have the Story Of beauty and the Beast, such a sweet story if I were to actually leave it alone but.....................FUCK THAT IDEA LETS TWIST THE SHIT OUTA IT, Picture it, Belle is a mushroom adict who see's household appliances come to life, and I don't know what it is about the Beast but don't he kinda look like A really well fed dog? don't you think that is a lil odd? I mean I can understand Loveing a Pet but someone has to draw the line, and then she is so hawkd up on shrooms that she thinks he turns into A good look piece of man meat, if you ask me I would have gone with the guy that liked her from the get go, BUT NOOOOOOOOO dont' listen to the HOMO UH UH.
SLEEPING BEAUTY!! NOW Who doesn't love a classic?
I tell you I don't know why that bitch sleeps so much, can anyone tell me this, maybe its from hanging out with the old ladies way to often, I mean how would you feel if you had to live with that?
and then you meet a great guy and come to find out your already spoken for, if it where up to mei say fuck it and go do what I wanted but thats just me. But the guy she ends up with isn't to bad in fact he has a stricking resemblence to the guy who she was foolin around with in the forest, god talk about a high sex drive, I mean YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEND IN THE MOVIE AFTER THEY WALKED OFF SCREEN!!
and melificent was just jelous cause she wanted to be a blonde and instead she got black horns that look like snake skin, god woman go get a wig, drag queens do it, shit most of there hair looks about the same as it is, take a hint!!
Then we have the Chance to laugh at myself and others without the cover,
Lets talk about drag time, for instance, its bad enuf that I take forever to get ready, we are talking about an hour in the morning, yeah I am high maintanince, but shit look at some of thiese queens they will spend at times up to four hours in front of a mirror, mind you thats half of a work day, Now take in mind that in that amount of time and the number of years some of these queens have done drag for, and to think most of them still do a shitty job!! Can anyone say YOUR FIERD?
Then Lets talk about Guy stereo Types for a minute, If I ask A guy what type of guy he is looking for, the normal response I get is ya know NORMALL, Oh I want someone that can make me smile and who is kinda BLAH BLAH BLAH Number one what they are really trying to say is I want someone who can roll me around in the sac and not make me get so fuckin bored that I have to go out and get it somplace else. Number two Most the Time they really arn't out for Long term why waist my time and just ask me right out front.. You wanna go Roll Around, its not playing, not in my eyes cause playing to me is, ya know video games something like that going to the park and having a nice game of foot ball that playing around, I don't get sex hair from foot ball, all I get from foot ball is a couple of brusies and maysome grass in my hair.
But Back to my point.. everyonce in a while I hear, I want A straight acting guy.
CAN ANYONE DEFINE THE STRAIGHT WAY OF GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS??
Please if you can show me in the dictionary, show me the page so I can have it stiched on a pillow!
Another Thing I don't Get about gay culture is Why do so many people catogorize themselves?
I mean yeah I use those stero types, but my god, punk, goth, preppy, cowboy's bull dyke, lipstick lezbian
why can't you just say that you are gay or lezbian and you dress how the fuck you want to?
as far as i am concernd preppie bois are bitchy most the time, goth and punks are dark natured and wild, which is good at times, and the lezbians live in there own lil world, but if you think about it we are all just plain people who Have a favorite store at the mall!!
Another thing I don't get is How long people are together in the gay communite, what I mean by that if a straight couple is together for 2 years no one thinks a hill of beans about it, but when a gay couple has been together for two years people throw a party if they happen to be of the homosexuall persuasion. I mean lets think about it in this day and age, everyone needs a pat on the back for staying together, because no matter what you are, there is still terms that fit people like SLUTY, Two Timeing, you name it.
I mean the gay communitee wants so much to be excepted but we discrimonate aginst straight people so much in everyday life while we seek out equality that I think thats the reason we don't get it. we step on there toes they have there feelings hurt and then they retaliate with not letting us go thru divorce court when we want to seperate. lol that right there should be enuf to make us have equality, just think of all the money a good divorce attorney could make if he played his cards right....AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME LOL.
I mean seriously don't you see what I am getting at, If we took the same amount of time leading on like just everyday people, not throwing our sexuality up in the faces of people whome we may not even know but expect them to respect us we won't get anyplace, RESPECT IS EARND not givin off the batt.
But the one thing I don't get out of all this is ORGY's
Why If you are in a solid realationship, Why In gods green earth would you want someone fucking your significant other?
If it was me I would get mad and my baby blues would turn green right then and there!
OH BOY that would make me feel so insecure, I mean if you think about it you are taking a risk of loosing your partner, espechially if the other person is hotter and better in bed you don't want your lover to know that ther is better things out there, you should break his legs chain him or her up in the bedroom and not let them out!!
anyway thankyou for reading this I am shure that you will be seeing me preform soon!!
peace out Love ya all
posted by Rob-b at 10:45 PM
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