Something to be
Anyway I am back,
Spent the day with Phillip,
we went to the mall, grabbed something to eat, I got a new CD and a new movie, we went back to his appartment, he stayed for a few minutes and went out with his freinds, I must say that the silence as deafining as it is, is welcome. I do enjoy his company but I am having emotions and feelings, thoughts that I have not had ever had. healthy jelousy, healthy freindship, and maybe even more then that. I must admit I am jelous of the other 2-4 people including myself who are inline for phillips emotions but you know what, I am here in the present they are not, that and I have never delt with compitition well, maybe this can be an oppertunity to showmyself that I can do it, while I am sitting here writting to you my dear readers a few of these bois are messageing him on his messangers, and I am closing them out, one of them kinda hurt but, I have to live in reality, he is single, as am I, what I saw was a message that he wrote, in reply to a person that shall remain nameless even though i have an idea of who it is, because here in portland it is just like it is in boise, I know of people,\ plain and simple, but this person said :I WANT YOU!" in response was : HEHEHEHEHE, And I you" Or something to that effect, now normally I would throw in the towl, but I have a chance to grow as a person that and im not commited so, I have no reason to get mad or hurt. I just feel maybe more then i guess i should. I am sitting here listening to Rob THomas, I Don't Want To Be Lonely Anymore. And it is so fitting for my current mood, God I wish there was something to be done, but as it is nothing can be done, but wait and do my best, and just show him that Im here in the now, and Im just the icing on the cake of life, and here i always thought that being a boifreind consisted of being the cake and the icing, but a dear freind reminded me that its not that way, that you need to just be, the garnish that makes it all come together, and if I do my best and it don't work then not to beat myself up over it
cause i have done my best and can't get better then that lol.
anyway I am out for now, i want to go watch my movie
Spent the day with Phillip,
we went to the mall, grabbed something to eat, I got a new CD and a new movie, we went back to his appartment, he stayed for a few minutes and went out with his freinds, I must say that the silence as deafining as it is, is welcome. I do enjoy his company but I am having emotions and feelings, thoughts that I have not had ever had. healthy jelousy, healthy freindship, and maybe even more then that. I must admit I am jelous of the other 2-4 people including myself who are inline for phillips emotions but you know what, I am here in the present they are not, that and I have never delt with compitition well, maybe this can be an oppertunity to showmyself that I can do it, while I am sitting here writting to you my dear readers a few of these bois are messageing him on his messangers, and I am closing them out, one of them kinda hurt but, I have to live in reality, he is single, as am I, what I saw was a message that he wrote, in reply to a person that shall remain nameless even though i have an idea of who it is, because here in portland it is just like it is in boise, I know of people,\ plain and simple, but this person said :I WANT YOU!" in response was : HEHEHEHEHE, And I you" Or something to that effect, now normally I would throw in the towl, but I have a chance to grow as a person that and im not commited so, I have no reason to get mad or hurt. I just feel maybe more then i guess i should. I am sitting here listening to Rob THomas, I Don't Want To Be Lonely Anymore. And it is so fitting for my current mood, God I wish there was something to be done, but as it is nothing can be done, but wait and do my best, and just show him that Im here in the now, and Im just the icing on the cake of life, and here i always thought that being a boifreind consisted of being the cake and the icing, but a dear freind reminded me that its not that way, that you need to just be, the garnish that makes it all come together, and if I do my best and it don't work then not to beat myself up over it
cause i have done my best and can't get better then that lol.
anyway I am out for now, i want to go watch my movie
posted by Rob-b at 9:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home