death becomes me
Well,
here is the realization I have come up with.
I am single, I have the LIBERTY to sleep, fuck, KISS, do anything I want to until otherwise taken off the market. Do I care what People think of me..OF course I do, but wether or not your oppinion is going to be felt within my heart or bother my concieince any..that is another thing.
I found my good friend Christopher. He wasn't lost, not of his own doing, I think it was more mine. I went home for three weeks back to mtn.home and I have realized that being selfish, unkind, catty, and really uncaring. and I have For my new years resolution, decided to make that person or part of me die.......I can't keep not caring being bitter at the world is no excuse to put my life on hold for a massive vendeta that I wish to only carry out on a few people.
Anyway, what else have I been doing...umm went home, went to idaho falls with my parents..that was so much fun, the ride back was a lil sad, but that is for reasons that at the moment are going to be kept out of this journal, until I can give the true story.
but what else.....went to portland not to long ago, mad an ass out of myself, but i have discoverd another gift that i have which is the reason I gave that little lecture at the beggining of this entry.
well one of my friends in portland, ( WHOEVER IS READING THIS AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE- It is SPILLING tea, but no one knows who the manufacture of the tea is so get mad if you want. but you know i am right)
but anyway, he was going to work early in the morning, well I know a few people up there and all of them where otherwise preoccupied, so this boi and I went out to a friends car, had a drink or two, and we where asked if we where an item, I told him to answer that. he didn't say I guess what he felt. well in the car was this other boi who had a crush on me has had one sense the first time i set foot into the club. so there are three people in the car all together... well i get into the car the boi that didn't express his feelings had to work early, the boi with the crush and his roomate are going into the club. i take the boi with the crush aside and ask him if he liked me he said yes, I told him that he should do something about it if he did, ya know dance with me kiss me something flirt even, and he said that the other boi would get mad cause i was his............ well I kissed him, really I shouldn't have but you should have seen his lips and his face, he was like an angel. It was truly a beautiful disater. So I spent two days with him, went to the club two nights in a row, I tried talking to the boi whom i had hurt, and I am hoping that by me writting this he see's that I am sorry. No matter what he says i didn't mean to hurt him or anything. I did sleep with him I like him, I wanted to do the right thing but instead i did the wrong thing and i huurt people, I can't do it anymore, Demon has to Die, and is going to.
ON a better note my dear friend Rose bud/ jordan, has landed himself a man. my best wishes extended and if i have mentiond this in a previous blog i am sorry, just that well...you know that song called MY BOO, by: USHER
well I dedicate that song to him.
I am such a crazy mixed up person and i think he is one of the few people that honestly understand me, even if at times we are not together. I still feel him thinking of me and visa versa.
I just want my normal life back, who knew that when sandra bullock when she played sally owens in practical magick I JUST WANT TO LEAD A NORMAL LIFE WITHOUT MAGICK
who knew that I COULD RELATE. I don't know what it is. I love people i am drawn to them, but i huhrt so many i think, but at the same time i have been gone for three weeks all the poeple whome i am close to, called and left messages saying that they miss me. I don't get it maybe someday i will
well dears, ill talk to you later
CHAIO BELLO
here is the realization I have come up with.
I am single, I have the LIBERTY to sleep, fuck, KISS, do anything I want to until otherwise taken off the market. Do I care what People think of me..OF course I do, but wether or not your oppinion is going to be felt within my heart or bother my concieince any..that is another thing.
I found my good friend Christopher. He wasn't lost, not of his own doing, I think it was more mine. I went home for three weeks back to mtn.home and I have realized that being selfish, unkind, catty, and really uncaring. and I have For my new years resolution, decided to make that person or part of me die.......I can't keep not caring being bitter at the world is no excuse to put my life on hold for a massive vendeta that I wish to only carry out on a few people.
Anyway, what else have I been doing...umm went home, went to idaho falls with my parents..that was so much fun, the ride back was a lil sad, but that is for reasons that at the moment are going to be kept out of this journal, until I can give the true story.
but what else.....went to portland not to long ago, mad an ass out of myself, but i have discoverd another gift that i have which is the reason I gave that little lecture at the beggining of this entry.
well one of my friends in portland, ( WHOEVER IS READING THIS AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE- It is SPILLING tea, but no one knows who the manufacture of the tea is so get mad if you want. but you know i am right)
but anyway, he was going to work early in the morning, well I know a few people up there and all of them where otherwise preoccupied, so this boi and I went out to a friends car, had a drink or two, and we where asked if we where an item, I told him to answer that. he didn't say I guess what he felt. well in the car was this other boi who had a crush on me has had one sense the first time i set foot into the club. so there are three people in the car all together... well i get into the car the boi that didn't express his feelings had to work early, the boi with the crush and his roomate are going into the club. i take the boi with the crush aside and ask him if he liked me he said yes, I told him that he should do something about it if he did, ya know dance with me kiss me something flirt even, and he said that the other boi would get mad cause i was his............ well I kissed him, really I shouldn't have but you should have seen his lips and his face, he was like an angel. It was truly a beautiful disater. So I spent two days with him, went to the club two nights in a row, I tried talking to the boi whom i had hurt, and I am hoping that by me writting this he see's that I am sorry. No matter what he says i didn't mean to hurt him or anything. I did sleep with him I like him, I wanted to do the right thing but instead i did the wrong thing and i huurt people, I can't do it anymore, Demon has to Die, and is going to.
ON a better note my dear friend Rose bud/ jordan, has landed himself a man. my best wishes extended and if i have mentiond this in a previous blog i am sorry, just that well...you know that song called MY BOO, by: USHER
well I dedicate that song to him.
I am such a crazy mixed up person and i think he is one of the few people that honestly understand me, even if at times we are not together. I still feel him thinking of me and visa versa.
I just want my normal life back, who knew that when sandra bullock when she played sally owens in practical magick I JUST WANT TO LEAD A NORMAL LIFE WITHOUT MAGICK
who knew that I COULD RELATE. I don't know what it is. I love people i am drawn to them, but i huhrt so many i think, but at the same time i have been gone for three weeks all the poeple whome i am close to, called and left messages saying that they miss me. I don't get it maybe someday i will
well dears, ill talk to you later
CHAIO BELLO
posted by Rob-b at 3:25 PM
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