summer sunshine

I try to be strong but youve never been more wanted, in the heat of summershine
ok so yeah life is full of suprizes for me this week, come to find out i have more bad things being sad about me then anything nice comming back from the massis, i guess i am a stupid bitch who isn't very nice to be around.
to bad the person that said that was tweakin at the kidde club in pdx last night.... oh did i say that online, my inner typing hands are just out of order must be.. someone remind me at a later date to have them fixed...
ANYWAYS
back at the ranch...lol
I am listening to evenesence MY IMMORTAL, so many faces go thru my mind when i hear this sing it is sad cause some are dead some of them are people that I always wonder what could have been or what could have been done diffrently to make it better and some of them are just people that are unnatainable thru there own doing.
But yeah, I watched JAWS this evening with a good friend of mine, and then let me see I get to hang out with my friends tommorow which will be fun
so i am psyced..lol well i am off to bed
so chaio bello

AAAHHHH KARMA

So i am sitting at BSU right now, thruought my day a certian yong man that i went to high school with, that caused me many a grey hair, well he got on the chair next to me complaining that everyone thought he was gay on his cheerleading squad, and he said he wasn't but i have a friend that is dateing him hahahahahahahaha, i think it is so fair considering i asked him out in high school and he ran down senior hall screaming, it was funny as hell.
but yeah i think it is fair...very fair heheh YES I AM VINDICTIVE..additutde?? WHAT ATTITUDE?
anyways
I am still at bsu i have listend to the same songs all day all the top 10 songs and then a few more just to shake it up.
I feel like i can coriograph a few songs just off the seat of my pantz by now haha.
anyway I am planning on comming back home to pdx soon, things are still up in the air and i am not too happy with the amount of air that is involved but its not my doing and i understand the circumstansis in which the air is being made. anyway my lovelies i am going to jet i will talk to you all later and i love you..well you.. you.. you.. and you you know who you are hehehehe

Dial up!! blah

oK so i am suffering away on my dads laptop .. doable, with internet..doable...a DIAL UPCONNECTION SO NOT DOABLE
CAN I HAVE A ROOT CANAL AND A KLEENEX PLEASE this is so painful i mean i wanted to blogg tongiht so i am but i just know what a pain thisis going to be to upload onto my page you know what i am saying not only that but that but my keyboard that i am using is fried so it makes the cursder jump all around and makes me type in places that i have already typed in its kinda odd. but yeah good news and bad news, i have my first real buisness meeting at my job monday. which means i have to drag my ass up to slc for a day or two..bad news is i don't know if that wil be effecting my trip up to pdx or not. but yeah i don't know what is going on with that but i now know why people got mad when playboi stopped using the airbrush in there pictures..... i got my pics back from graphics i tel you what if my skin complextion was that clear in real life..lemme tell ya!!!
but yeah i don't know what i am going to do i am getting used to being single i mean it isn't a bad thing but i don't know why i should have to get used to it. its weird i mean i was single before i had my first boifriend in the 10th grade... never had ANYONE untill that point. i was fine with it but now i am not. it don't make any sense. oh well anyway ill talk to you guys later ok chaio bello

Breaking The Habbit

OK so i have met like 6 guys by the name of Chris within the last 3 months, that is just odd.... i mean i love 3 of those dearly the other 3 can just Rott for all i care.
but yeah i am listening to Maroon 5 SHE WILL BE LOVED
I DON"T MIND SPENDING EVERYDAY OUT ON YOUR CORNER IN THE POURING RAIN.. yeah that one.
But I have been thinking about somethings and I am just overwhelmd it seems, i have obtaind some money and i have to get a drivers licence and then my GED and I also have to obtain a passport for work. I am excited but still thats kinda overwhelming YA know. anyway ill be back with more later today

WHITE HOUSES

OK so yeah as you can tell my Titles Normally Come from music, but yeah
I have had an aquward day to say the least, My ex U KNOW THE ONE, he has cancer in his liver, stomach, and COLON!!
I wouldn't feel bad but When that happend I wished that he would Die, now i feel bad.
I know that that is a bad thing, but it was in the heat of the moment. and i wished it with all my heart. I just wish i have enuf power to undu what i have done. he doesn't desearve death or life i am not the one who should decide that. and i am not saying i have power over that i just geel guilty that is all. i am going back to pdx on the 24th of september and i am happy. ill be staying with a friend.
AND I hopefully will have some money to spend that way i am not a burden ya know what i am sayin. anyway let me think of what else there is to say . u,mmmm I AM OFFICIALLY THE GOOD TIME HAD MY ALL. I didn't think of it when i herd it from one person but when i herd it from like 6 i am upset at this. Who in the fuck has a right to judge???
deffinitly not any of u who are reading this because we are all imperfect i am not admitting to anythign cause there is nothing to admot to, but i mean think about it we all have things we hide from the light of day.
i dont get it.
i talked to my dad today as well and let me tell u, he is a good reason to go to the liquor store nd get a poison of ur choice. cause shit i never feel like doing that unless i am talkign to him. but yeah i am tired but i havnt written anything in a while so i am going to part ways with u lovelys at the moment and say have a bella not`e chaio bello/a