My what a good day

hey all!!
how is your satarday going?
MINE O MINE IS GOING WELL!!
Got up ate. ate, baked, went over to mike and steves house.
thought of some more skits!!
One skit is this,
being the oldest of two children I think would be a difficult think, and the only reason I would think that is cause I KNOW!! Belive me i know.
I mean you have to deal with the Other Sibbling, The New commer when they come into the world, Then they srart developing the same intrest in playing with your toys, if your gay they either share your intrest in playing in mommies things or you have to deal with the fact that the THING is Alot more of a tomboy then you are!! She's all Like I want a football, and your drooling over The Barbie dolls back on Isle six. thats truly no fun cause then your parents are sitting there comparing there kids with the neighbors...What fun is there in that you know your parents are saying OMG My SON Is so much more behaved then that lil hoolegen HAHAHAHA I mean lets face it most of the younger gay kids that don't know that they are gay and are too young to care Are Just more behaved.
But then On the other foot, sometimes It can be the other way around they could be thinking OMG MY KID IS A TERD TAMPER, I mean I don't know what my parents thought and I still don't .
and as you grow older you move out of the house and I mean if you are like me you run into so many interesting people, or as Buggs Bunny would say INTEREsTING MONSTERS!!
I mean Everyonce in a while you will run into a nerdy guy, who will be so repulive as far as looks go that you just can't help but love them cause lol I mean after all they are the one of many types of people who fall under the Pretty on the inside type of person category. then we also have the type that are plesently plump, Im Sorry PLUMP PEOPLE NEED LOVE...just not the kind I am willing to give.
another type of person you will run into is a type of person that will have some sort of behavioral disorder I like to define thisdisorder as the Karen syndrom, these people will sit and nit pick at people make fun of them to there face or behind it depending on which way the person is facing and be completly blunt, sarcastic and FUNNY all at the same time. I myself suffer from this commen diease
Take for instence one of my really good freinds, We Really think that haveing sex with a midget is fasinating, I mean if you think about it in a sexuall way you can come up with so many images
I think that the biggest Image I get are the really preverted one like michael Jackson and..Yeah so moving right alongwhat about this the same friend of mine Loves to fantasise about quadroplegics, now I know this sounds wrong but I mean think about his fantasy for a moment, your in sanfransisco you are looking after a quadroplegic and all of a sudden at the top of a hill, you loose controll, what would they do? I mean Really!!
it is kinda funny in a sick twisted way and so true.
Another person you will run into in life and I think that this is my favorite type of person, but not quiet number one, is the people whome run around act smart!! IGGNORENCE IS BLISS, I mean I am not a blonde physicly but mentally WHOOO HOOO I mean I am smart and old for my age but , these people they will talk to you for no reason and get you involved with your life and if you see something that they are doing wrong and are trying to fix the situation, and you tell them what they should do, they already know what they are going to do!!!!
its like they are just trying to find out if there idea is dumber then what they already have made it out to be in there head.
and then when your idea is swept under the carpet so to speak and when they do what they do cause I mean they wouldn't want to listen to you in the first place cause what do you know!
come to find out after things get worse they take your advice and OMG WHO KNEW you really where right!! go figure
but I think my favorite type of person is the type of person who goes online looking for a hookup first of all and a relationship second, I mean someone who is willing to reveal there mentallity and IQ like that just at the drop of a hat is a really secure person, LOL what a joke, I mean Morality is comming back, I mean quality and old fasiond values arn't dead they are just catching there breath before they surface fully, hahah CATCH UP WITH THE TIMES PEOPLE!!
Why would you want to go into something with just the idea of YEAH this is just casuall sex, I don't have to have any feeling for this person, ( and in reality thats all they do think of you as, they don't remember your face, they remember your genitals)
and if you really like the person on more then a sexuall level and after you have spent a year or two investing time and energy you find yourself wondering WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
or
WHAT HAPPEND
well you let happen what you wanted to happen you FREAK!!
anyway, Another Skit of mine is I think my most brilliant yet,
I am So sick of peoples slang for some things, I think my favorite thing is ARE YOU HUNG??
Yeah I have a penis of course it hangs!!
Or you wanna hang out, 9 out of ten times all that means is can I see your penis hang and maybe FOOL AROUND!
and fooling around is sex without dinner!
so people make shure you get dinner first if you do anything.
Another thing that I think that I need to address is the fact that peolple think that I am going to trust everyone, I mean I think....Espechially in idaho, most people just assume your going to trust them, hey man can I borrow your truck? I DON"T THINK SO I JUST MET YOU FIVE MINUTES AGO IN THE BAR...are you crazy?
or I once had this really ugly midget friend and she really wasn't a mdget she was just vertically challenged, I think when the line for healthy thyroids was being formd she was still hoggin it up at the all you can eat butt fat buffett!
my lord this woman had an ass on her!! and she was so ANNOYING!! She considerd and Introduced herself as queen bitch. I am serious! All I noticed about her the fact that my tips for the previous night of serving tables and my liqour where all gone!! I don't know how it is but htem short ones can get aruond and they are messy espechially when you have a new bed that needs christind, her and her lezbian friend will for no charge have sex in your bed for free, without your permission, when I found out I was LIVID I had to get new sheets new everything MY GOD BOTH PLUM LIL THINGS AND MAN DID THEY MAKE SOME NOISE!
HOW RUDE!
but my lord she was a nasty lil thing to take in public she would tell you she was takin things from you and not care if you said no or not she would take it anyway. I hate it when people do that, I have a tendency to get cranky!
another time I was at work and I wasn't out, my bf at the time came to my work and kissed me needless to say I was outed at work and i had a massive conversation with my boss peole get so upset with PDA i don't mind it but i knew that others would! anyway im out for now ttys

Who Needs A Laugh?

Ok So I am Getting together My skits that I have worked up, Hopefully the new comedy club in town that is opening will have open Mic, nights to all ages. It sucks not being 21.
but anyway Here Picture this LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, HOMO STYLE!!!
It will be fabulos, I am going to Be lil red's twin brother, A homo of course, and Miss red herself is really a drag queen, who dated an older guy that was a real bad boi, and a hairy mo fo, and grandma is a pill popping alcoholic, and Our Mom is going to be a lezbian, and by the way grandma is a swinger and the woodsmen is otherwise known as A DIRTY OL MAN!!
kinda short but Im not going to type out the entire skit for someone to steal my style.
Next we have TWEAKER BELLE, OH my The THE DIRT this lil powder snorting Diva has on peter pan and the lost boi's, not to mention wendy and her brothers.
She even has a few lil stories about the pirates. hahahaha did you know captin hook was into body peircing?? Who knew, Kinda like jesus was into body peircing as well lol.
Then we have ALICE, OH SWEET PSYCOTIC ALICE, HOW WE LOVE YOU, I myself an going to be the cheshire cat, cause I mean Who better to tell the story about Alice then the Damm Instigator of the whole thing, Skrew the White Rabbit, I want some purple stripes, and A smile on my face not a case of parinoia, besides that It's more my personality as it is, but i think I am going to make this cat have a gambleing problem I mean after all there where a ton of cards in the movie and book lol.
Also we have Cinderella, my lord Everyone thinks that bitch was grown when she put that slipper on, I BEG TO DIFFER!!her feet where still growing when she put that Glass piece of shit on her foot, and get this, I heard a rumor that her and the step sisters all shared a girlfriend at one time without knowing what was going on, how Nieave can you get?
I don't know what it is But how did this Bitch manage to get a prince An older one at that, she must have lied about her age...lol
Then we have the Story Of beauty and the Beast, such a sweet story if I were to actually leave it alone but.....................FUCK THAT IDEA LETS TWIST THE SHIT OUTA IT, Picture it, Belle is a mushroom adict who see's household appliances come to life, and I don't know what it is about the Beast but don't he kinda look like A really well fed dog? don't you think that is a lil odd? I mean I can understand Loveing a Pet but someone has to draw the line, and then she is so hawkd up on shrooms that she thinks he turns into A good look piece of man meat, if you ask me I would have gone with the guy that liked her from the get go, BUT NOOOOOOOOO dont' listen to the HOMO UH UH.
SLEEPING BEAUTY!! NOW Who doesn't love a classic?
I tell you I don't know why that bitch sleeps so much, can anyone tell me this, maybe its from hanging out with the old ladies way to often, I mean how would you feel if you had to live with that?
and then you meet a great guy and come to find out your already spoken for, if it where up to mei say fuck it and go do what I wanted but thats just me. But the guy she ends up with isn't to bad in fact he has a stricking resemblence to the guy who she was foolin around with in the forest, god talk about a high sex drive, I mean YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPEND IN THE MOVIE AFTER THEY WALKED OFF SCREEN!!
and melificent was just jelous cause she wanted to be a blonde and instead she got black horns that look like snake skin, god woman go get a wig, drag queens do it, shit most of there hair looks about the same as it is, take a hint!!
Then we have the Chance to laugh at myself and others without the cover,
Lets talk about drag time, for instance, its bad enuf that I take forever to get ready, we are talking about an hour in the morning, yeah I am high maintanince, but shit look at some of thiese queens they will spend at times up to four hours in front of a mirror, mind you thats half of a work day, Now take in mind that in that amount of time and the number of years some of these queens have done drag for, and to think most of them still do a shitty job!! Can anyone say YOUR FIERD?
Then Lets talk about Guy stereo Types for a minute, If I ask A guy what type of guy he is looking for, the normal response I get is ya know NORMALL, Oh I want someone that can make me smile and who is kinda BLAH BLAH BLAH Number one what they are really trying to say is I want someone who can roll me around in the sac and not make me get so fuckin bored that I have to go out and get it somplace else. Number two Most the Time they really arn't out for Long term why waist my time and just ask me right out front.. You wanna go Roll Around, its not playing, not in my eyes cause playing to me is, ya know video games something like that going to the park and having a nice game of foot ball that playing around, I don't get sex hair from foot ball, all I get from foot ball is a couple of brusies and maysome grass in my hair.
But Back to my point.. everyonce in a while I hear, I want A straight acting guy.
CAN ANYONE DEFINE THE STRAIGHT WAY OF GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS??
Please if you can show me in the dictionary, show me the page so I can have it stiched on a pillow!
Another Thing I don't Get about gay culture is Why do so many people catogorize themselves?
I mean yeah I use those stero types, but my god, punk, goth, preppy, cowboy's bull dyke, lipstick lezbian
why can't you just say that you are gay or lezbian and you dress how the fuck you want to?
as far as i am concernd preppie bois are bitchy most the time, goth and punks are dark natured and wild, which is good at times, and the lezbians live in there own lil world, but if you think about it we are all just plain people who Have a favorite store at the mall!!
Another thing I don't get is How long people are together in the gay communite, what I mean by that if a straight couple is together for 2 years no one thinks a hill of beans about it, but when a gay couple has been together for two years people throw a party if they happen to be of the homosexuall persuasion. I mean lets think about it in this day and age, everyone needs a pat on the back for staying together, because no matter what you are, there is still terms that fit people like SLUTY, Two Timeing, you name it.
I mean the gay communitee wants so much to be excepted but we discrimonate aginst straight people so much in everyday life while we seek out equality that I think thats the reason we don't get it. we step on there toes they have there feelings hurt and then they retaliate with not letting us go thru divorce court when we want to seperate. lol that right there should be enuf to make us have equality, just think of all the money a good divorce attorney could make if he played his cards right....AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT ME LOL.
I mean seriously don't you see what I am getting at, If we took the same amount of time leading on like just everyday people, not throwing our sexuality up in the faces of people whome we may not even know but expect them to respect us we won't get anyplace, RESPECT IS EARND not givin off the batt.
But the one thing I don't get out of all this is ORGY's
Why If you are in a solid realationship, Why In gods green earth would you want someone fucking your significant other?
If it was me I would get mad and my baby blues would turn green right then and there!
OH BOY that would make me feel so insecure, I mean if you think about it you are taking a risk of loosing your partner, espechially if the other person is hotter and better in bed you don't want your lover to know that ther is better things out there, you should break his legs chain him or her up in the bedroom and not let them out!!
anyway thankyou for reading this I am shure that you will be seeing me preform soon!!
peace out Love ya all

Auditions and Me don't mix

Smooch to you my loyal readers!!
well lets start out by saying I feel like SHIT!!
I mean seriously, A fresh Terd..................I went to bed last night got up and went to auditions at 8, for cats, now for those of you who are still unclear about what exactly i did...the Broadway Play cats came and prefored here in boise ID, and I got asked to audition/ so I went there sang..I can't carry a tune in a bucket, But I am a fast learner, so I was hopping that they would make me in the corris I don't know how you spell that I don't care.
Then On top of that this lil ten year old CUNT!! Thats right I said CUNT, would leave me the Fuck alone!! I felt Like I did right before I beat up that one kid in high school,
Im shure all of you have someone in your life like that atleast once, you know that one, the one that never shuts up, talks about you whispers about you, give you dirty looks, and thinks she can get away with it because there mommy is the casting director...did i get cast no, but did the lil ten year old CUNT...YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!
WHAT A RIP!
Then I went to pride saw this awsome and I mean awsome comic, true from down in the audiance he looked like he was ten, but then again so do I.
H e talked about comming out and what it was like for him.
Pride this year was very enjoyable for me
To be honest he was very cute, and I don't think he thought I was to shabby either, But he made one really obvious, suggestion I mean there was more advice, but one tip just really was like DUH!! he said Get out of Idaho.Like I said DUH
but he suggested until I manage to get outa this PIT, to use the open mic nights and just work on presenting, he even told me I looked Funny lol, yeah I know what you are thinking, he had to catch himself when he said that cause he thought I might take it the worng way..LOL lil do he know me, stuff like that don't phase me in that sense.
Right now I am at my gay parents house, my Uncle brent, and steve and mike and Roomate Fred are all here. when I say uncle i don't mean biological, but It gay family you know how it is.
Fred and Brent I found out, have this obbsession, with wondering what it would be like to have sex with a midget, lol the only image I am getting is one of santa clause and maybe an elf, and the elf telling santa how good he was that year,lol PLEASE SANTA CAN I HAVE A RAISE!!
OH my Gawd, I have such a fuckin headache, as you can tell I am in a Bitchy Mood, Sleep Is now a high priority of things to do, I havn't slept in like 2 weeks! Don't know why I just havn't been able to sleep. Well, I do know why but it's not my Issue anymore.
I am earning about 400 dollars this week on a pool job, helping one of my gay dads with a job he has, have to restain a pool surface, yeah I know that sounds Kinky and to whoever was thinking that all I can say is, YOUR NASTY...I LIKE YOU!
I also have another job comming up for about three weeks that will provide me with about 600 before tax's so that isn't to bad I Will have plenty to go to portland on or whereever I decide to go. I have also made a choice, I am no longer pusing Boi's they are to much fuckin work, next guy I have is going to have to just let it fuckin happen cause I am not going to put forth the effort of being formall and all that shit.
If he wants to talk to me, it will be him getting off his ass a lil more then none of the time to call me, I mean yeah don't get me wrong I like to call and ask how his day is going, or something like that but I mean next one is going to make the effort.
I don't know why I am saying this sense I said that I was going to Maybe keep my eye on Grant, but...lets just say that Ill keep myself in the picture called life, but when it comes to puting my feelings on hold, not muttering a word cause I don't want to drive someone away, or tell them something because I can't stand to not tell them, is a batle aginst me..me against me, and Im not down with that, maybe ben was right, maybe gratn was right, I don't know This is proof that it wasn't an obsession. What whats that?
am I saying that I don't have feelings for grant, or that I wouldn't like to be with him?
NO NO NO
not at all, its just I am not being fair to myself, Im not being true to myself, I am also not saying that I am going to settle for someone to hold me, cause Like I said earlier boi's are a dime a dozen, but a true gentlemen is priceless and unforgettable, No I am not saying I am sorry about Grant at all, In Fact He is true Unforgettable. And I hope Life brings us as close as it did once before, be it in this life or next, whatever is to be belived , whatever it is supposed tobe called but it is left to be said. But I am always there, just like the stars above.
but I can't shine right now.
I need to go and get polished so I can shine for myself first.
..but speaking of unforgettable, I recently decided that one person I was getting to know before grant, this persons name is unavalible cause it is of little significance, but he is undateable, I mean I was getting to know him and at the same time he was getting to know someone else, and the bad thing of this was we were kinda being serious.
AHHHHHHHH, ICK and to think I kissed that.
speaking of kissing have I ever Told yall what I think of kissing, I love it, Its a way for me to tell what the person is like you can tell alot about a person in there kiss, sometimes you can be wrong but for me normally I am right on the money. I can tell what the person is feeling, and even sometimes You can even mesure after a fight how mad they still are at you lol.
anyway I am outie I need to go eat and take a nap so peace out!!

IM TIERD, HUNGY, I HAVN"T SHAVED AND YOU GAVE ME RED EYE...DON"T MESS WITH ME 

LEAVE ME ALONE, NO MORE PICTURES 

THEY FOUND ME!!! 

Group Shot 

WHY AM I WEARING THESE SHOES AGAIN?? 

Incomplete

Ok, So now that I am back from, OKC, and I am out of medication,Still Infected with staph and Have had some time to think and get more of my life on track, let me update you, First of all the trip went fine, I had a ball, the only thing is that No one there really sparked my interest, Mike did get jealous when we went to the bar, I was Dancing with a guy and well he got mad kinda made a scene, so to get even I went home with the guy, didn't do anything but I wanted him to see that it doesn't matter what he or anyone else will does to influence me, I will do what I want to do. I will dance,Chase,Flirt, And Fall in love with whom I want, NO if's An's or But's...END OF POINT.
anyway, I went and got a part time job a few days ago, Mowing Lawns, one person for now, ecent pay, but this is a small neighbor hood community so she will tell others about me I am shure, I also went and auditioned for a play called COME BLOW YOUR HORN it's set in the 50's in Manhattan, It's about a wealthy Jewish family who is in the wax fruit business, and two brothers and the parents and the boy's girlfriends/ FLINGS....Anyway I could only audition for one part cause I don't look old enough for the other parts, so I am up for the part of the part of buddy, for those of you who don't know the play, its the younger brother/ one of the leads..I hope I get the part.
Yesterday I think was about the worst day I have had in a long time, I cried most of the day, I am so sick of being sick, and I am wanting something more then I have ever had in my life, I have also done alot of thinking about what I want, and it just seems so right, I don't know..I was raised as a jehovah's wittiness, and I agree with most of the teachings, that the religion teaches, its just I want a husband and kids and not a wife.....I know this, I also know that for once in my life, I have someone I can turn to, someone who makes me feel safe, and unstoppable, I have also found the ability to banish the darkness that has been my life for so long, I don't go out to find pleasure in hurtting others, I only want to help. I am back to myself, even without my meds I am not a mean person, I feel incomplete, and I may feel like I am at a loss cause right now I am at a stand still, in a sense, but the only thing that is going to make change is time,
Last night I went and talked to my grandma about a few things cause I was tierd of crying I am in pain cause of the infection that is plaugeing my bodie,....she is a walking pharmecy, so she gave me a vicadin, and we talked about how i was brought up, about my feelings about men and wemon, how My stress level is out of this world, how I am so sick, we even talked about grant... I don't know if anyone realizes how much of a step that is in my world, IN A JW FAMILY U DON"T TALK ABOUT BEING GAY..IT'S TABOO!!
But for once, I got to pour out my heart and sould about how I feel, not only in general but how I feel about someone, and not have her freak out, she didn't even loose her cool, she was sincear, and genuine, She however did want to know what I thought the diffrence about love and lust was, just to see if i knew what being with someone was all about...and I told her.
if you are wondering what I told her, here you go
I told her that lust is getting turnd on whenever you see someone and wanting nothing but sex, you arn't attracted to the person.
whereas a relationship/love, is about companionship, trust, freindship, and doing things together and, talking about everything, not letting it nexxecarily revolve around sex, cause I admit it in a realationship sex is part of the package, but I mean haveing an intelectual conversation, taking the time to get to know someone and what is in there heart.
and she was proud of me for knowing the diffrence, she still isn't happy about my dissision about going after someone of the same sex, but she atlest knows that I am being careful and I am armd with knowlage and truth. yes the heart is a dangerous thing to triful with, but so is the mind, you can talk your self into or out of so many things.
and everyonce in a while your heart will talk you back into it.
trying to go on pretending that something didn't happen or someone never came into your life when in reality it has touched you or has woken up a world, that was once half asleep, is a good thing, I know I tried it, and I couldn't do it. I felt more alone then I had then before anything had ever happend, I was swimming in an ocean all alone, with no life boat or vest to save me. But I decided to not let go of what I wanted and to accknowladge that this person was in my life..for good, weather he wants to be or not, cause I don't think I want to feel that way again, I have to listen to my heart on this one, and follow it, as it guides me down this dark corridoor, I may stumble and fall down a few times, a jagged rock may cut my foot on occasion but i know what is at the end of the darkness, and the reward is worth more then life itself. Some say love is just love, but I dissagree, it is something that everyone needs in there life, I may have love, and I may be able to love, but thats not the love I am talking about. I am talking about the Love that only one person in your life can have, no matter how many ex's you have loved, this person will always have a love greater then those ones who have fallen away out of your life. it's not an extended infatuation, it's not anything but pure Love, that comes complete with Romance and it happens once in a life time.
and you know you are there when you stop looking at other people, you know you are there when you long to hear what they are thinking, you know you are there when you are unhappy with anything but there touch, you are there when you look back at the time that you have spent with them and hear songs on the radio, and no matter the song depending on the category it seems to fit how you feel, you know you are there when you are finding yourself trying to give them space, and letting yourself go insane because you don't want them to feel crowded, you know you are there when you see that person everywhere you go even if they are not there, you know you are there when you wake up in the morning and when you realize that they arn't there you find yourself picking up the phone to see if they have left a message....there are so many ways to tell.
another way to tell you are there...is realizing that the first time you saw them was all you needed, and that the first conversation you had was the closeing of the sale in a sense. I don't know,
I am still taking my time, I am still getting lost in the music and I am still getting life on track, so I may have a small idea, but I don't have the major picture yet. I wish I did. but like i said, I don't
as for what else is going I have gotten a few responses to the resume that I posted on monster.com from some people in portland and also in boise But so far its nothing I can do, selling insurance is not in my list of things to do.....i don't do well at selling things like that, return of the kirby vaccume..lol
anyway peace out my dears
grant I hope you are well, and I'll talk to you all later