SEE MY BASKET....NO NO NO NOT THAT BASKET

So yeah I am SO excited today, I met a boy on the internet on one of my vices.... He is so nice I don't know what he looks like but yeah he is a genuine nice guy and I thought they were all gone.
he is just exploring life..If you get muh drift, and I am sittin here reflecting on what it was like for me and I can relate so well I was religious, hard core straight boi on the outside, was lost cried everynight cause all I wanted was someone to hold on to but it never was a girl that I wanted it was something I didn't understand I never thought of a man never till I had one, then I thought to myself..This is it this is what I have been longing for, and now I am happy.....10 boyfriends down the road it is still what I want its just more in the structure of the guy I want.any way I am off to have Coffey with Chris so later darlings I will finish the story a Lila later ......ANYWAY A DAY LATER..... I have decided to continue my storey. this Boi touched me.
I wish the best of luck to him and i hope he finds his happiness.
ON a totaly diffrent note. My ex From Nevada Emailed me today....YEAH.... Umm, He appologized for both himself and me, in and angry sense but i mean, its a strp tords me letting him sleep at night i guess. YES i know how i ment that and you will to if you know me well enuf or get to know me well enuf. but yeah i replyd i don't know what i was thinking but i did reply, i appologized for whatever i may have done...he said i talked in my sleep ok.. so i appologized if i had ever ya know somehow beated him up in my sleep or something like that i mean a body never knows so i was just covering my ass.
What happen to the good ole days when they just drug you out in the middle of the street flogged you and forgot about it...I THINK THAT needs to happen i mean ill take a beating if i will be left alone afterwords.
or even him ill flogg him that way i can forget abut it. i wonder if i should buy him a punching bad for christmas or something well wiat.. his b day is comming up ill just give it to him then.
anyway i have things to see people to do.. or wiat is it the other way around?
well anyway chiao bello/bellla

Everyone on the flor and get hard core

SOOOO IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS
But yeah, anyway i have gotten so many NICE posts, more then what i have gotten in the past, and sometimes I think people don't care aboutmeEEEEEEEEEEEHGH WRONG ANSWER
GLITTER DARLING SWEETY SWEETY DARLING you will always be on my top 5 list of fav boi's
So my day was exciting a lil bit, woke up in the arms of a guy....NO NO NOOKIE, BUT i Will say that I have never met a person that could pick me up and not grunt with UMM non existant strengh, but ya it was nice i didn't have my night terrors!! YAY
And let me see, Went out to eat with my good friend dennis, and i have decided, hangin out with older men is cool, just as long as you remind your friends wo weeks in advance cause they make up not nice things in there head when they see you and them together, and then i have to get mean and cranky and i don't like doing that, went out to table rock cafe btw, good food.
But I did some reflecting today, and well.... I can't get away from guys who work at albertsons in starbucks it seemslike, and and DJ'S oh my lord ive met like 6 in the past month, its outrageous
I mean I stayd the night with 2 DJ'S, nothing happend, with one of them i don't think it would have been a bad thing but ya know its all good in da hood.
THEN, I am sitting here in a place i have never been before, a strech in my couch surfing skills. BLAH.. remind me not to think about staying with a gay couple who has an open relationship, NUMBER ONE they can't keep there mits off things that arn't theres and 2 They ARE WEIRD
but lemme see more on my day, I had a date cancel on me yesterday and all ican think is why is it that my luck never changes all the nice ones are in SALT LAKE CITY or pheniox or portland WHY AM I HERE IN THIS PERPETUALL HELL HOLE?????
I DON"T UNDERSTAND!!!
SO yeah Anyway i have a question why is that men always flirt and forget so they use the same pick up line twice in a 5 minute period its taky boi's think of something else something new ok, please i don't want to pick up for your slack
then let me see i think that this is the end of this so GLITTER< JOSH< AND SCOTT PEACE LOVE AND CHICKEN GREASE
CHIAO BELLO

other blogs i like

www.haleyjade.blogspot.com
THIS GURL HAS SOME ATTITUDE I WANNA MEET HER AND HUG HER
and of couse i love my dirty lil homo
so yeah i have already posted today but i wanted to tell you all that work has contacted me www.soleiltalent.com
and i am starting in like a week and a half, isn't this fabulis i think so
anyway CHAIO BELLO/BELLA

BACK TO KANSASS.. I MEAN IDAHO

SO I am back in iaho.. to my PDX readers, i am sorry I didn't say goodbye, i hate saying goodbye, besides i am there enuf that i might as well live there youll see me again shortly.
So after the initiall shock of i am on my way home to idaho hit, when i got to ontario, I took a few hits of cronick, not enuf to ruin my day, but enuf to relax me, i hate fuckin idaho, but at the same time i love it, i am like scarlett O hara in a sense i think, no matter how far i get from home...I always come back, it has a healing quality to it and for that i am truly thankful. went to the therypst today for counsling, for what happend on the fourth of july.... and He is willing to help me. I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING...this guy is damaged goods, and let me tell you something, stuff like tht only adds charecter, if you can't laugh or cry your way thru something and smile a lil afterwords how in the hell do you live? seriously!
Any way let me tell you about my buss trip back here you wil be amused i am shure, so yeah i know this gurl in boise, well i boreed the buss in pdx, i unknowingly spent the whole time talkin to her sister and she is such a sweet heart i don't know what the trip woulda been like without her, i also met this nice black lezbian, and she rocked as well, her lover of 14 years had a drug problem and she decided to call it quits, i felt like saying good for you, but i mean i wish i was still on this buss with these people conversation was so good and i didn't feel bored or anything they took care of me and i them. i even saw my lil friend yesterday night at the flying M! I WAS SO EXCITED.
But yeah,...huh... whats that?
Why..
why what
why did i not stay in pdx for amature night or the bitch contest.....?
QUIT DRILLIN ME GUYS
ok so i left, my roomate was havin some emotional problems, you know living with your ex and still expecting him to put out can be a hassel i know but i think it just didn't pan out when he was trying to date antoher guy and he told me I AM DIONG IT TO GET EVEN WITH YOU, CAN YOU SAY SCUM OF DA EARTH , no you don't do that if you have someones heart on the line, i can understand revenge sex, but my best friend is a gurl, so he didn't want to do that and yeah she is in boise so it don't make any sense.. I mean if you get any logic out of that then please post this, that way WE INCLUDING ME can understand.
Anyway, so yeah ummm what else do i write. well i think that is about it for now, i decided that I am going to change, no more putting up with unessesary BULLSHIT. i am sick of it the guys in idaho are almost as as bad as some in pdx, seriously up there they are known as abf clones here they are ZOMBIES.but yeah no more bs, i am going to be me, say what i am thinking and not care, i can be nice, but what is the point of talking to a brick wall if it has loose bricks that fall on your head i know that don't make sense but it does to me, CHAIO BELLO

ALL BY MYSELF... I NEED YOU HERE

Tommorows just another day, another way to spend my day.all by myself.
So yeah i went to the club tonight, not to dance, just to scociolize i have one guy call me desperate for his sorry anerexic ass. then i had a nasty scanky asian boi come up reach down my pantz and tell me i have a CUTE cock..tell me something isn't that in the same category as nameing a guys penis PRINSESS? Seriously ok imean comeon, im sorry but there is a diffrence in being gay and a complete cheerleader, i don't like it, i mean it don't bother me that something of mine was called cute, but timing is everything and this person did not have it, nor tact cause he made himself out to be a huge asshole.....EGGROLL
But thru the rest of the day i spent most of it listending to trance music and just zoneing out, i mean wed is good but with music i have found it is even better YES I SMOKED SOME WEED SO BITE ME!
Anywayz so i had a flash today just a blip of somthing really scary i saw a funeral and it wasn't so pretty like my mother was crying and when my mom cries, you wanna cry cause she is such a genuone person that is one of the things that i love about her. but anyway how is life with all my darlings..... darling sweety sweety darling exchange auras with me.
anyway enuf of that i am not going to do lil red ridding hood i have decided i shall wait till ihave the resourse to make it a goddess move as well as the effort.
i wil lmake the people love me first...anyway its still goign to kick ass.
so cya later chiao bella/bello

Midol needed when using this product

So Yeah I wrote my script today, my friend jordan herd what i was planning for this upcomming event and to quote
GURL THAT IS A GODDES MOVE.......
WELL DUH, What else am i going to do, im not going to lip sink, and i am not going to copy someone else, IM not from fuckin ATEENS ok.
Anyway I found a skirt that is a go
and shoes
so that is takin care of, adn then leemmme see I AM SO FUCKIN EXCITED CAN YOU TELL!
But yeah I can so walk in heels and yeah so it is all good, And i feel confident, Like i am complete in myself, if you can imagine that, i love to make people laugh, and i get to do that. REWARD
So i am going to tell you that lil red ridding hood is bad, a combo of domonatrix, and a goth/ CLASSY bitch put together.
I will have someone take a picture that way you can see if you don't make it.
anyway i am going to bed. chiao

Kylie Minouge, a true Red Blooded Woman Who makes even me hot with her Voice and poise 

RED BLOODED WOMAN

So I really like the Song RED BLOODED WOMAN, but yeah update on Robbie's life
I went to the LOYD CENTER today, for those of you who don't know what a loyd center is it i s a mall, to be blunt. BUT I HAVE DECIDED TO DO DRAG ON SEPTEMBER 3RD amature night at club escape for those of you who might want to come and don't know where it is it is on STARK and PARK in portland, why am i doing drag? good question, well my roomate is a queen, AN UGLY ONE, and i know i can do better, oh so much better, so my name is VIOLET ASHES
But yeah i Found red and black flared pants, violet is one skinny lil heffer, a size 3 jean, i feel like saying my my the bulimia has certinly paid off, but then i remember that i am talking about me..haha i am not bulimic. but yeah i found a black mesh shirt( see its either lil red riding hood, or her brother) i am taking a poll on what i should do. but i also found a corset,(black of course) and another courset look alike that is black as welll, a min i skirt that is ruffled in layers and comes up to my mid thigh, and a chocker and high heel shoes with a steel heel, as well as ones that have an industrial ring and made outa leather, and all i know that it is going to be hard work, but modelig is harder that and i am going to have so much fun smoking my roomate. mis osiris is going to get a run for her money not that there is going to be much to run off but ya know, so yeah what else, oh i logged onto my old user name on yahoo.com, and an old old friend of mine was on, i hve been his friend for what 4 years now, and it is sad cause i think that he is a lil cuter then when i last saw and taled to him, i am not to big into facial hair but ya know it works for him. anyway i wasa happy to talk to him, then i think glitter is a lil pissed off at me, and for that hun i am sorry i will try and do better. but yeah lemme see, so yeah my roomate got some nookie today, EWWWWWWWWW noises thru the walls are not fun trust me on this one.
lemme see whatelse umm that is about it for now CHIAO BELLO

JUST SAY NO 

PEICES OF ME

So yeah I am sitting here, ALONE, Listening to music and thinking .. yes i know, i shouldn't do that when i am by myself, i might have an anurizum or something like that. but being single takes alot of work... I WANT TO BE ON PAYROLL!!!

I want to know why is it it that men smell when they are horny, i mean not normal sweat, that is sweet and yet so nasty i hate it, but i crave sex when i smell it its like a disease, they smell then i smell and LORD RESISTANCE IS FUTILE STARTS!!!
well i am trying to get home to boise, i miss it i never thought i would hear that thougt in my head ever, but
yeah i am feeling fine. but yeah the past couple of days have been slow and uneventfull but i mean to me they have giving me time to think, abotu some things that i really needed to, work, boi's, life, parents the whole shabang. but yeah i am commming home soon boise, BEWARE

strike a pose

SO I WENT TO A NUDE BEACH TODAY WITH A FRIEND OF MINE and i listend to VOUGE on the way there , I LIKE THIS SONG, but yeah let me see this week has been so chaotic, leemmeeee seee, went to the club my friends did my makeup
i was an angel, what a strech for me i know, an irish angel, i couldve pulled off a leprichan easier, but oh well i think i looked good, my good friend glitter danced with me, my EX slash roomate more roomate then ex got mad when i blew him off cause LETS HAVE SEX came on and i told him no so he left me at the club with no ride
so i managed on my own it was fabulis i think he hooked up with a minor that night i am not shure but ya know its all good, i advocate rule breaking heheeh, MY GRAMMER SUCK I KNOW.
that is what you where thinking wasn't it
oh well but i did have fun toda my roomate also pinned me down and decided i needed 6 hicky's on my neck i can't see the other 4 but i know the ones on my clavical are prety nice and when i say nice i mean NICE AND BIG. lord i know i am a size queen when it comes to somethings but serously this is not one of those i have to go to dinner with relitives this weekend do you think i am going to enjoy a tank top in september can anyone say tank top? so tell me DOES ANYONE READ THE SHIT I PUT UP, or is my effort to get online everyday by fighting my roomate for the cabel and comp to write to basicly myself or do i need liek not write anymore??

REFLECTION

OK so i have a dear friend in boise i was talking to the other day that i miss dearly and i told him once that i would never know what it feels like to be innocent, well i would like to retract that statement. I met a guy yesterday, didn't go with any alterior motives, NOTHING LIKE THAT, all i was going to do was sit watch a movie and go to bed on the couch. BUT Even though i did do that I didn't sleep alone, but no sex nothing sexual at all
sensuall and a lil passion in the cuddleing, but not in the psysical sense at all it was so amazing, but what i don't understand is the fact that after all i have been thru and after all the promises i have made to myself, why do I have to meet someone that make me put on my hard hat and break all those promises?
I mean he is not like anyone or thing that i have ever run into while being out on my own, and that is what i like about him, honest kind caring, emathink, well more sympathic but still he could read me like a book, and i have only had this happen once and it was right before i came up here, i wqas crying like a lil baby , but he held me and i felt so safe and wanted/ needed that i didn't want to leave, i just wanted time to stop and go right past, Yes i did get a kiss outa it, i think that is what made it feel so innocent, cause I had the power and controll for once, and it felt amazing, i mean , i have never felt like this, i am going to take it slow, i mean look what happend last time i hit the fast foreward button, yes i had a good relationship for the most part except for a few massive problems, but i want a friend first, and i know, my heart is telling me that if i do this, and cultivate my friend, not meaning to sound like farmer john but i will have the later as well. and even if i don't have that ever....I will always have last night in my heart as something i will never have again as long as i live. and no one can ever take that away from me. I hope to see him again. and again and again..... you get the idea
but on a more important note, a good friend of mine passed away last night, he was killed my drunk driver in SLC.

Rebirth

by: Robert Michael Shaw

I sit and look out at the window

wondering why ill have to go

everything does have a time

a song is herd and passes round

time goes by, and takes its toll

before to long its herd again, loved just as much

Though im not seen, my voice is herd

and a lesson was taught and learnd

I am with you not in sight, but in heart

and if you look real close youll see me

as you dream

well i have a better version of this poem in my boise home in mtn.home and i will re post when i get the chance but you get the hint....Zeb, my dear freind, this is for you and so many others who do not know or did not know what life is like without heartach, in other words this goes out to everyone. I love you all, and the reason i know this is cause i know who is reading this and its all my friends that i have made over time

and to my fav DJ~ Ill SPIN YA LATA"S as for the rest of you lovely's chia bello

unwinding after a long day

SO YEAH
I got dirty today in the garden, i even got a blister, and i am sitting here with about 20 acne patches on my face cause i need to get ready to go back to work, that means the gym and swimming again and that is fun, but to intigrate it into my life again after like letting myself go for like 6 months i s ahard thing to pick up agian, espechially when i am quitting smoking
so i am sitting on my favorite Vice right now the internet, on one of my fav sites.... no names
i refuse to advertise. But i am talking to a fe actuall nice guys and they all have maners, the sun must be spinning backwards. but yeah i am getting paied for my workd today, and that is good.
lemme see now i talked to mom on the phone, MY UNCLE IS GETTING MARRIED, and the sad thing he wanted me as his best man, and sense i am not active in my church they won't let me..the family that is. BUT I DID FIND MY THEME SONG...for now
its by Kelly Clarkson its called Breakaway
"Breakaway"Grew up in a small townAnd when the rain would fall downI just stared out my windowDreaming of a could-beAnd if I'd end up happyI would pray (I would pray)Trying not to reach outBut when I'd try to speak outFelt like no one could hear meWanted to belong hereBut something felt so wrong hereSo I pray (I would pray)I could breakaway[Chorus:]I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to flyI'll do what it takes til' I touch the skyI'll make a wish Take a chance Make a changeAnd breakawayOut of the darkness and into the sunBut I won't forget all the ones that I lovedI'll take a riskTake a chance Make a changeAnd breakawayWanna feel the warm breezeSleep under a palm treeFeel the rush of the oceanGet onboard a fast trainTravel on a jet plane, far away (I will)And breakaway[Chorus]Buildings with a hundred floorsSwinging around wild indoorsMaybe I don't know where they'll take me butGotta keep moving on, moving onFly away, breakawayI'll spread my wingsAnd I'll learn how to flyThough it's not easy to tell you goodbyeI gotta take a riskTake chanceMake a changeAnd breakawayOut of the darkness and into the sunBut I won't forget the place I come fromI gotta take a riskTake a chance Make a changeAnd breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

So yeah who knew that when you copied and pasted that it would come out like that. LEARNING EXPERIANCE... but yeah its time to go chiao bello

DEMON 

the day continued

Ok so now that i am up and it is a lil later on in the day haha
I AM FEELING BETTER
ok so here is some more insight into me
I may know a few things about relationships but i don't know everything and that is what i am llokign for in a guy someone who wants to learn with me and maybe even show me some things that i can use, i mean i know ice cubes can be fun but im not refering to the bedroom ok
i mean show me things in life and in love as in emotionally.
i went to dinner at my friend jordans house with my ex, it was fun had really good food, and you know what im sitting thinking to myself why do i even bother looking prince charming is prince for a reason he needs to be looking for me so he can rescue me from hell on earth thats right he needs to get right on that MOVE PRINCE MOVE haha anyway here is a pic of me in a guess a mini form of drag everyone meet DEMON

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND JUST HATED EVERYTHING

yeah yeah yeah Angelia Jolie Ain't got nuttin on my mood, SHIT i am cranky this morning....gee i wonder why i spent all of my early morning writting to you guys. So i am online right now on one of my vices and what did i tell you.
I mean 6 seconds after logging on U WANNA HOOK UP, well its 12 in the afternoon, i just woke up my breath can melt the paint off a car, do you want me to really come over right now?
Then i have another guy telling me that he has a friend that used to be a gay basher that would like to top me, he is in jail right now on a weapons charge and that the only gay thing he did was get a blow job , but he choked the guy afterwords..... is it just me or should i be wondering if i have made someone mad at me. Besdies he wants submissive, IM SAFE hehe, im irish and I love my Free spirit, that makes me domonite. YES, Morning person is a horrib le word to use when describing me, my mom is close to this level of bitchyness but not quite there. u have to suck cock, to have this kinda bitchynes. To bad my mom doesn't do that, My mom and I are very close when it comes to her sex life, she still thinks im a virgin. BLESS HER HEART!!!
So yeah My BEST friend Is comming to Portland, not to see me but to hep another friend. which is nice, but all i can say is i better get atleast get a day date outa it, speaking of dateing you know one thing i hate, poligamy in a relationship weather it be one sided or two I HATE IT
i am listening to kelly clarkstons new song called BREAK AWAY talk about hearing my life in music, i realate to music, i mean i have done magick and practiced before, when i came up here i draind myself with a song the sky pourd out it was beautiful sense i love the rain, but i wanted to cry so bad. but its what i use to relate. but yeah anyway so i am looking for things to talk about and it is sad cause there are so many things i can and want to talk about but ill be bitter about it
but i will tell you this if you are reading this, and your interested in me, IF I DON"T KNOW about it then draw me in to your life more, take a stand and take a chance. if i don't know you and you like me or i don't know you that well hunny you have nothing to loose talk to me haha anyway peace out for now Chaio bello

ok here is the first pic  

me again 

a day and the life of a gay boi well at least me

ok so first off hi my name is Robbie and i am a gay single male....intoductions are so formal but kinda funny, really they are i mean i coulda said something diffrent for instance, hi my name is Robbie and i am an alcoholic...... same line i mean really anyone I think who intodices themselves should just staight off the batt do that, saves me the time and trouble of flirting to get it outa ya!
second of all let me see now about that single part...yeah i am, but that is for a number of reasons, i am single because at this time in life I choose to be i sometimes argue with myself about it and the other person in my head normally wins and i choose the wrong type of person and walk right past a prince in shinning armor but yeah and the second reason is that im looking for a relationship, a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP, I mean ill go online and post it on one of my many Vices on-line, and Im sitting readong other profiles and they ALL say I WANT (or) am LOOKING for a LONGTERM (or) MONOGOMUS Relationship, so I figure SHIT I GOT IT MADE, I go into the chat room that is from the same company with the same people that i just looked at and they message me , they dont say HI My name is _________, its HOW BIG IS YOUR PACKAGE........ DO I LOOK LIKE U.P.S., or SOME HOUSEBOI WITH SOMETHING TO MAIL,...... I DON"T THINK SO. so yeah i am new to this and i will have a picture of me next time i post, whats that you say,what do i do for work, well ill tell you. i am a full time model or atleast trying to be, the contract is signd but you know how it goes. I am also a Waiter or a life gaurd or swimming instructor by trade but taht is when i am working for a normal establishment. I am currently working on getting the final test on my G.E.D really it isn't just that ive already taken the Government test so all i have left is my math but its all good.
Yeah... A really dear friend of mine introdiced me to this site, he even wrote a poem about me in his blog, its not a happy and cheary poem as i thought it would be, but it tells the truth, lets see i am going to explain it a lil and then you can go and read the poem yourself I have just gotten out of a REALLY bad relationship about a month ago, I was happy, but alchohol came into my family or relationship and vilone ensued, I was beat up, and raped...don't get me wrong i got even plenty and good but a part of me died and i left a part of me behind as well that i am trying to this day to get back.....my heart, i never understood why in those movies where the wemon go thru somthing like that and you see them at the end or in the middle somewhere looking out the window , they have a forlorn or meloncoly look on there face that seems so close to death and sadness that you feel it as well... I now know why they have that look. its because it hurts so bad to be away from something that you have worked for and fought for to make work, the time wasted or at least it seems like its waisted. the way you feel like you have no heart because its with him. blah i sound so FUCKN SAPPY, but its true and thats how i describe it. I feel like I have left a peice of myself behind. so here is the link www.dirtylittlehomos.blogspot.com
or somthing like that you get the drift if i have it wrong i will come in and fix it my comp crashed and i saved it in a half ass way cause its not my computer but i wanted to have it on hand well i lost it when the comp crashed go figure.
well any way enuf of this my favorite things to do let me tell you
1 DANCING
2 SWIMMING
3 DIVING
4 SHOPPING
5 EATING
i mean if you wanna do something with me ill do anything but yeah i like these things alot.
I have a alot of people i know but only a few i call friends, i made a few in portland these past couple of weeks, my freind JORDAN PINK the current reigning RoseBud in the portland area, she is a beautiful Drag Queen and one hell of a HOT guy, and to think i thougt you had to be tall to be hot this gurl can but on a potato sack and still look lickable, also.. my friend EggRoll, he Is Running for Thorn, a cute lil aisan boi and i don't go for asian bois that much but this one is cute he even has frekals hehe
also i managed to get a boifreind while i was up here i cut it off or am cutting it off haha because i have to go back to boise.. that is where i am from, but i don't do the long distance thing to well and portland to boise isn't exactly a lil drive down the Road, you know what im sayin
I also have another friend her Name is ABBY, and let me tell you THIS VENUS WITH A PENIS/ CHICK WITH A DICK..hold on its not a heshe its another drag queen but she will rock your world when it comes to being made to feel welcome and treated like gold when others wont even say hi to you and she is oh so talented when it comes to the youth in this area.
I also met a hot lil 15 year old and I felt real dirty dancing with him at the club cause i coulda takin him home but im 18 and i know better but i am kinda naughty when it comes to doing what i want i I REALLY WANTED to..but i didn't iwas a good boi for once. but don't spread that out to much ok. and let me tell you he can dance mmmmmm mmmm mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. so enuf about me or atleast for now ttyl CHAIO BELLO